Up until 1961, it was illegal to commit suicide. The punishment if caught? A fine, or even prison time. Today, the average suicide rate for men in England and Wales is the highest it’s been since 1999. Charity Boss Ian Hastings is on a mission to change that. By Tegan Maass.
Ian Hastings gets straight to the point: “I know it might not be classed as politically correct now, but I think we were just all normal blokes.
“We used to go down the pub, we’d all grown up together.”
But this changed when a series of difficult life events led to the death of one of Ian’s closest friends.
He says: “I watched my mate disintegrate almost, and then pass away. The truth around the matter is he didn’t want to be around anymore.”
At the time conversations surrounding mental health were unheard of, and there was little awareness of how to support men in crisis.
But shortly afterwards Ian found himself in a similar position, with changing life circumstances culminating in rapidly declining mental health.
After a medical intervention, the idea for MUTED arose amid the long journey to recovery.
MUTED is a small Nottinghamshire charity that stands for ‘Men Understanding Treatments and Experiences of Depression,’ and its goal is to encourage men to talk about their mental health in a non-judgmental, low-pressure way.
“Why don’t we as blokes talk about it?”
Ian, 53, pauses for a split-second, an almost bemused look crossing his face.
“Because we are embarrassed.
“There’s been a drastic change in mental health and people’s understanding of mental health, but it’s still got a long way to go.”
According to the Office for National Statistics, the average suicide rate for men in 2023 was 17.4 deaths per 100,000, compared to 5.4 deaths per 100,000 in women.
Talking about mental health is still a challenge for many men, with society’s rigid expectations enforcing the harmful notion that men should always be strong and in control. Vulnerability does not fit with preconceived ideas of masculinity and is seen as a weakness.
Ian points out that the terminology commonly used to describe mental health is another barrier that makes it harder for men to express how they are feeling and being open to accepting treatment.
He says: “The men we help tend to like things described to be straight to the point and that’s not to belittle the intelligence of men.
“Men think in practical terms and so tend to prefer things in those terms.”
MUTED takes this approach when helping men through a dedicated 24/7 ‘peer support system.’
Ian adds that the name needs work: “Are men happy or comfortable to say, ‘I’m just chatting with my peer support worker?’”
But the helpline allows men to speak to a member of the team as if they are simply chatting with a mate.
It’s a lot more informal than a lot of traditional helplines, with none of the typical language that Ian says prevents men from having honest conversations.
This informal approach creates a sense of ease, where men are under less pressure.
Workplace talks and outreach are also a big part of MUTED’s mission, with the charity previously working with firms such as Rolls Royce and Primark.
But a more unorthodox method to encourage frank conversation is the charity’s fire walks.
These walks have been a regular occurrence since the charity’s creation in 2013 and has proved popular in raising awareness and money.
The prospect of walking across burning coals has proven to be a powerful way to encourage men to be more open with their mental health while getting out of their comfort zones.
After one workplace talk, around 30 people immediately signed up to take part in the fire walk, each of them raising their own sponsorship money.
Ian says: “It is out of the ordinary, but also, it’s a brave thing to do and so is talking about your mental health.
“Surely if you can walk across fire in your bare feet, you can talk about your mental health.
“Awareness wise, it gets everyone talking, doesn’t it?”
Before stepping onto the fire walk, participants are required to prepare with an initial training session.
The session, lasting about half an hour, is not just about tackling the physical challenge but also the mental, arguably the more difficult of the two.
This means that participants are encouraged to train their mind so they don’t freeze and are able to persevere with the challenge.
People are able to take these lessons way from the fire walk and apply them to real life – there is an increased sense of resilience and confidence.
Ian says: “The feedback we’ve been getting is phenomenal, like people getting in touch with us after the event saying, ‘you know what, I’ll never forget that training and the things that were taught to me.'”
“They’ve learnt stuff that can help them handle stuff day to day.”
When asked about his own experiences of fire walking he simply grins and says coyly: “Ooh well, I’d be giving you secrets now.”
For those seeking support, or are looking to find out more, information can be found at: https://www.muted.org.uk.
Alternatively, if you are experiencing mental health concerns you can call or text Samaritans on 116 123 at any time.
