“The reality of life is so painful that we don’t want to face it,” says Noshiela Maqsood.
And for years, she did not.
When Noshiela’s parents split up at 19, her world changed overnight.
She was close to her father before he left the family home.
She soon found herself working three jobs, getting married and giving birth to her first child.
Then at 23 she pleaded guilty to perverting the course of justice for lying in an electoral fraud investigation.
But the court case – and her 18-month suspended prison sentence – was the turning in her life.
After unexpected public attention and media coverage, the experience was overwhelming in an already difficult time.
Now more than a decade later the 36-year-old is using her experiences to help others as a trauma-informed coach and author.
She co-wrote three books and published her own in 2021 – She Empowers – a handbook for women who lack access to coaching.
Noshiela says: “Going through that process I realised the people who are supposed to be protecting me are actually doing the opposite.
“I was a person who served the community in charity events.
“I used to support people, I taught so many children in Derby how to recite Arabic, how to read the Quran.
“So actually lying in the first place was a huge contradiction to my values.”
She had her first child while attending court hearings, stopped working and became a target for media scrutiny.
After the scandal, Noshiela withdrew from the world as she raised her second and third children.
She adds: “I kind of stopped going out, I really isolated myself.
“I was this mum of three kids struggling with my identity and I was just facing mental health challenges I was so scared to even admit.”
Noshiela’s ‘light bulb’ moment as she describes it was when she realised her children needed her.
She prayed for help and connected with a Muslim woman who was an emotional well-being coach.
She says: “I started to rediscover things that I used to like doing, and it’s almost like I had this awakening.
“The reality of life is so painful that we don’t want to face it.
“I finally started to do things for myself.
“I started to actually take care of myself again; it was almost like a welcome home type of feeling.”
That awakening inspired Noshiela to train as a trauma-informed coach.
Now she runs a coaching business that helps women worldwide healing from anxiety, depression and narcissistic abuse.
She says: “Trauma-informed coaching involves taking into consideration the impact that challenges and adverse experiences have on a person’s nervous system.
“It’s a complete mind and body experience.”
Many of the women she supports share similar struggles – cultural conditioning, identity loss and the weight of stereotypes.
“Our faith is so empowering,” she says, “It actually puts women at a higher status than men.
“People don’t tell you that our faith encourages women’s rights, women to have financial independence.
“But the narrative, unfortunately, is the opposite.”
Noshiela’s message is clear: “Just because that was a part of my upbringing doesn’t mean it’s my identity.”
She believes breaking free from cultural conditioning requires courage and confidence.
“For Muslim women, service is deeply ingrained,” Noshiela says. “It’s important, but it should be done without harming yourself and with healthy boundaries.”
The challenge isn’t just external expectations—it’s also the inner narratives women carry.
“Modesty is often interpreted as being quiet, not raising your opinion.
“Over time, many women lose themselves.”
As a British Pakistani Muslim woman, Noshiela acknowledges the added complexities of Islamophobia and stereotypes.
She says: “Sometimes people don’t understand the fear that you won’t see past my headscarf, that you won’t see my qualities, how much education I have and what I’m capable of.”
Noshiela has helped countless women across the world start their healing journey.
She says: “They’ve turned their life around – overcoming struggles with confidence and becoming more present with their children, transforming their parenting relationships.”
Noshiela envisions a future where she can travel the world spreading her message and supporting more women to step into their power.
If she could speak to her younger self, her words would be simple:
“We did it.”
